• All mushrooms are edible. Some only once.
  • To avoid having children, make love with your sister-in-law, so you will have only nephews.
  • Worse than a stone in the shoe... A grain of sand in the condom.
  • If one day you feel useless and depressed, remember that you were faster and stronger than all other spermatozoid.
  • Bosses are like stormclouds. When they disappear the day clears up.
  • The hierarchy is like the shelves. As higher they are, the less serve they give.
  • Men would not lie if women did not make questions.
  • To choose a silly girl among a lot, choose one at random.
  • What does a man lack to be perfect? Everything.
  • How can one call a boomerang which does not return to the thrower? Stick.
  • Give me a goldengoria of almonds, please. Do you want a goldengoria of what?
  • I have managed to cross genetically crab louses with fireflies. I do not know what it might be useful for, but I have the balls that look like Las Vegas.
  • I bought on e-Bay a penis extension device for one hundred euros, and the very bastards sent me a magnifying glass.
  • European studies have shown that:
    • Vodka + ice = Fuck kidney!
    • Rum + ice = Spoil liver!
    • Gin + ice = Damage brain!
    • Whisky + ice = Fuck up heart!

PROVEN! It is the bastard of ice that pisses off everything!

  • How different it would be if thoughts were voiced and farts coloured!
  • When somebody looks at himself in the mirror and discovers he has four balls, he is not more macho, nor cockier, what happens is that somebody else is taking up his ass.
  • Women need to be loved, caressed, pampered, embraced, kissed, persuaded, worshipped, extolled, applauded, etc. For men,  a blow job is enough.
  • I have read your horoscope for this year.
    • Health: the stars smile at your future.
    • Money: the stars smile at your near future.
    • Sex: the stars laugh their balls off at the present time.
  • When a penis measures less than 5 inches, is not a penis, is a pity.
  • The day I found out that smoking was harmful I quit smoking. The day I learnt that drinking was bad I gave up drinking, but when I read that fucking was bad I stopped reading.
  • The best birth control would be to women lay eggs. She wants a baby then she incubates it. She does not want it then she gets a fried egg.
  • Before making love one undresses the other and after having sex, they muddle through on their own.





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